Being mindful about health: My journey

If you know me well, you know I haven't been on the "fitness train" for very long. In fact, it's been less than a year. To most, it seems that I'm just keeping up with the current fads. That's easily understandable. But I want to share with you a little bit about my journey; why I am so passionate about my health and the commitment I've made to make it a permanent facet of my life.

Most of my life, I've struggled with my weight and self-image. I never even thought about dealing with it until I was a senior in high school (2005.) I did Weight Watchers for about two months....so I could fit comfortably into my prom dress. It felt good to lose the weight and it felt good to look nice in my dress.

Senior prom!

But that was my end goal: to lose weight, to look nice in the dress. When that was over, it was back to business as usual. I spent the summer...eating. There were picnics, graduation parties, sleepovers with my friends. Plus I traveled to Argentina, where I indulged in some of the best food of my life. I ate croissants smothered in dulce de leche--- every morning. Sounds pretty healthy, huh?

Eating something filled with, you guessed it, dulce de leche.

And then of course, my freshman year of college. I'm pretty sure I ate pizza for lunch everyday. I went to Cleveland State, so the possibilities for good food were endless. My friends and I would go all over the city in search for delicious, non-student center grub (Crab cakes at The Nauti Mermaid, anyone?)  I spent most of my college years eating HORRIBLY and not thinking anything of it. Then, in 2008, one of my closest friends got engaged and asked me to be a bridesmaid. A comment from someone about me being a "big girl" meant that I spent 4 months literally working my butt off. I joined Weight Watchers (again) and spent hours  in the gym. My motivation? Having to get that dress taken waaaaaayyyy in and looking good in it! And I reached that goal. I lost 30 pounds and had to have inches cut out of that dress.

The dress! And my handsome hubby ;-)

Fast forward through the next few years. I completed that cycle a few more times. My motivation went up and down (more bridesmaid dresses, my own wedding dress, etc.) and my weight became a huge struggle. I found out I have a health issue (insulin resistance) that is intensified by poor eating habits. That 30 lbs I had lost? Gained it all back plus 30 more. And I was miserable.

I tell you all of this for a reason. My motivation for years and years of yo-yo dieting and inconsistent health choices was short-term. I had shallow goals. I wanted to look good for a wedding, vacation....whatever. I wanted to be thin. Once I met those goals, I had nothing else to reach for.  I was living irresponsibly and I got tired of living like that. This time last year, I was so depressed. I had no self-confidence and I just remember feeling like I wanted to hide under a rock.  I was tired of feeling tired and I knew I was headed straight towards diabetes and other health issues. I wanted to end the vicious cycle I created for myself.  That was when I realized I had to make a permament change---for myself, for God, for my husband, for my family, for my friends. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life on a health roller coaster. I began to educate myself. I changed the types of food I was eating (and how much of it.) I got off my butt and started moving. I want to set a good example to others, to my future children. I want to be the best version of myself:  confident, happy, and healthy. And I'm getting there. That is why health and fitness are huge parts of my life now. My perspective has greatly changed.  It's not about being "skinny" or taking part in a fad but about being HEALTHY. And I have to want it. I have to want things to be different. Taking care of my body, the one and only body I will ever have, is an investment into myself and my future. Exercising and monitoring the types of foods I put into my body are habits that are nonnegotiable in my life. Has it been a perfect journey? Umm....no. I've wanted to quit numerous times. Even now, I get frustrated when I'm not seeing progress as fast as I'd hoped or when I slip up (because I do slip up.) But I know that every good choice I make gets me one step closer to being healthier than I was.

Maybe you've been where I was. Maybe you're there now. If you are, I encourage you to think about your reasoning: More confidence? More energy? Better health? When you set loftier goals, it's easier to prioritize health and fitness. You have to want it. Don't give up---the journey is worth it!